Thursday, August 11, 2011

Windsong – Breath of Being (Chapter 25 – Ney)


CHAPTER DATE

Being The Beginning Sunday, January 23, 2011

Mistral

1 The Exchange Sunday, January 30, 2011
2 bildende Kraft Saturday, February 5, 2011
3 Gossamer Wings Friday, February 11, 2011
4 Nemesis Saturday, February 19, 2011
5 Odd Shoes Friday, February 25, 2011
6 al-Rûh Friday, March 4, 2011
7 A Love Supreme Thursday, March 10, 2011
8 The Three-Cornered Light Thursday, March 24, 2011
9 Serendipity Tuesday, April 5, 2011
10 The Watchman Friday, April 15, 2011
11 The Upright Way Sunday, April 25, 2011
12 Angels Wednesday, May 4, 2011
13 The Cave of Montesinos Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Meltimi

14 Idols Tuesday, May 10, 2011
15 Nightingale Sunday, May 15, 2011
16 The Perfect Square Sunday, May 22, 2011
17 Haunting Thursday, May 26, 2011
18 The Uncontainable Wednesday, June 1, 2011
19 The Ear of Malchus Monday, June 6, 2011
20 Mauvais Pas Wednesday, June 15, 2011
21 Sinan Qua Non Saturday, June 25, 2011
22 Spirit-Level Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sirocco

23 Witness Saturday, July 16, 2011
24 Alcibiades Friday, July 22, 2011
25 Ney Thursday, August 11, 2011
26 Birdsong
27 The Vanishing Point
28 The Cat Walks
29 The Approximate Likeness of Being

Becalming Unscientific Postscript


Chapter 25

Ney

“Inna li ’l-bulbuli sautan fi ’l-sahar
Ashghala ’l-’áshika ’an husni ’l-watar”
(The Bulbul’s note, whenas dawn is nigh
Tells the lover from strains of strings to fly.)

Richard F. Burton
Thousand Nights and a Night


Rio waited by the window, having been alerted by Jack Dawson’s call ten minutes earlier. She watched as the taxi drew up and immediately walked into the hallway to open the front door. It was blowing a gale outside and she shivered as Jack, and the tall man with him, exited the taxi and quickly huddled under an umbrella to protect themselves from the driving rain as they made for the door. The tall man had a goatee beard and steel-rimmed circular glasses, which fogged up as he got closer.
‘Welcome to Ireland, Professor Gilbert,’ Rio said as she stepped back to allow them enter. ‘I’m Rio Dawson, Jack’s niece.’
‘It is my pleasure, Dr. Dawson,’ Gilbert said, as he first held out his hand and then almost instantly withdrew it again. ‘Excuse me! I can hardly see you.’ Gilbert took off his glasses and polished the lens with a neatly pressed handkerchief he removed from an inside pocket. Although nearly equal in height he seemed to have to lean back to bring Rio into focus. He replaced his glasses to sit low on his nose and held out his hand again. ‘Thank you most sincerely for your kind invitation to examine the Book. I am most excited by the prospect. Most excited!’
For the briefest moment Rio wondered how excited Gilbert could ever actually get before extending her own hand. His handshake was surprisingly firm and he had big hands, calloused and rough beyond expectation. She looked down at them.
Gilbert noticed her surprise. ‘Excuse the condition of my hands. Spent last week on assault manoeuvres. Some bloody awful climbing conditions.’
‘Assault manoeuvres?’ she asked, puzzled.
‘Yes, in Norway. I’m a reserve colonel in the Parachute regiment. Have to keep my “hand” in as it were. We were on winter training. Skiing and all that.’
‘I see . . .’ she mumbled, baffled.

Jack grinned at her from behind Gilbert’s shoulder, as if to say, I should have warned you. He closed the door behind him and started to remove his coat. ‘Sorry were late, Rosalind. Bloody rain! Made the traffic slow to a crawl,’ he said, shaking himself down like a retriever.
‘No problem! Let me hang up your coats and I’ll put on some coffee,’ she offered.
‘Tea for me, Dr. Dawson, If you don’t mind,’ Gilbert declared with unmistakeable finality.
‘Of course. Please call me Rio.’ Rio smiled. ‘Milk or lemon?’
‘Lemon, if you have it Rio. Thank you.’
‘Sure. You two go on in. I’ll join you in a minute.’
Jack walked ahead but suddenly stopped when he saw that Inspector Gerrit Flatley was already seated comfortably and smugly nursing a whiskey. The policeman smiled up at him. ‘Gee! Hello, Gerry. Didn’t expect you to be here!’
‘Any chance I get, Jack,’ the policeman replied, winking. ‘Any chance!’ He then stood up.
‘Yeah,’ Jack hissed under his breath before turning to introduce Gilbert. ‘Gerry this is Professor Bertrand Gilbert from the Islamic Institute in Oxford. I’ve flown him over to appraise the Book, to see if it is what it is supposed to be. Professor, this is Detective Inspector Gerrit Flatley of Dublin’s homicide unit.’
Flatley offered his hand.
The Englishman’s eyes flickered behind his glasses as he took it. ‘My pleasure, Inspector. I gather it is still a very difficult enquiry.’
The two men appraised each other, trying to estimate the other’s expertise in the handshake.
‘Yes,’ Flatley answered honestly.
Gilbert nodded sagely, released his hand and turned to Jack. ‘Might I see the Book, Mr. Dawson. I am rather anxious to proceed as I have to catch the evening flight back.’
‘Sure.’ Jack led Gilbert to the table at the far end of the room where the Book was sitting and then hovered over him as the academic paratrooper began his appraisal. He saw Gilbert’s face flush slightly as he first inspected the exterior and then almost redden as he traced his finger gently along the faded embossed border of the leather binding before teasing out the horsehair tassels so that they lay in perfect alignment with each other.
My-o-my,’ Gilbert whispered repeatedly before he opened the small briefcase he had carried with him and removed a small leather cushion. He placed this under the book to elevate it at an angle before he then, in an almost sacramental sequence, removed a length of material shaped like a string of sausages, a magnifying glass, a notebook, and finally a lead pencil from the briefcase. He placed his magnifying glass to one side, as Rio’s jeweller’s angle-poise magnifying light was already in position and adjusted the light’s poise so that it is centred precisely over the book. With a minor adjustment of the poise of his own glasses he was ready to begin.
‘What’s that,’ Jack asked pointing to the sausage-shaped string.
‘A reading sock with sown-in weighted pockets to hold down the pages… standard practice for dealing with old manuscripts. I always carry my own, this one is filled with ground pumice stone. Just the right weight, don’t you know? Perhaps you’ll excuse me, Mr. Dawson if I get on with my work,’ Gilbert said brusquely, his tone not brokering any argument.

Dismissed, Jack returned to the settee and sat down beside Gerrit Flatley. ‘What’s happening on your end of things Gerry? Any further leads on Phyllis Andrew?’
‘No unfortunately. Dead-ends all the way!’ The Irish policeman instantly regretted this flippancy between fellow-detectives and looked around to ensure Rio had not heard.
‘Think that’s the case?’ Jack asked.
‘Yeah. I think so. There has been no word. No contact.’
The two men sat in silence and listened to Gilbert’s excited breathing and repeated “my-o-my's”.
Jack whispered, ‘What about the blood matches? Any problems with the various alibis?’
‘No . . . well perhaps mabey.’ Flatley hesitated for a moment, wondering how open he should be. ‘Mags Golden, Cormac McMurragh, Brigadier Crawford, Foley, the security guard, and the other trustee with Group A have all checked out fine. We also have their DNA back and they show no matches . . .’
‘But?’ Jack encouraged him to expand.
‘Professor FitzHenry’s account of his whereabouts on the evening in question bothers me somewhat. It seems he was in the company of a friend of his who has subsequently disappeared.’
‘Why?’
‘Didn’t like the thought of being questioned by police, it seems. This ‘friend’ is known to us and is involved with some very unsavoury characters here in Dublin. Obviously the attention was a bit too close for comfort. He scampered.’
‘Unsavoury. In what way?’
‘Drugs, prostitution.’
‘Wow! Does that uptight prick FitzHenry know about this sideline?’
‘Apparently not! They were friends from college days. Always thought that he was a property developer. Shocked by the fact that your man is ‘known’ to us. It’s not that important as FitzHenry’s DNA puts him in the clear but I hate loose ends in an investigation.’

Rio entered back into the room with a laden tray seemingly unnoticed by the others, caught up as they were in their own conversation. She served Gilbert first before placing the tray down with a deliberate bang on the table in front of Jack and Flatley. ‘What are you two in such deep conversation about?’ she asked.
‘I’m asking your uncle here, for your hand in marriage. I thought it was the best thing,’ Flatley said with a deadpan expression.
Jack splutterd. ‘What the fuck,’ he growled.
Bertrand Gilbert coughed reprovingly in the background.
‘Relax, Jack. Gerrit is only teasing you.’ Rio laughed with Flatley at Jacks’ obvious fluster.
‘Don't worry Jack. I’m not the marrying kind,’ Flatley added.
‘Why? Are you gay or what?’ Jack was seriously bothered – pissed off – with the policeman’s apparent – and casual – dismissal of Rosalind and her possible needs. Not that she needs anyone else, he reminded himself.
‘No. It just scares the bejasus out of me. I’m too selfish for any meaningful relationships and I run scared.’ Flatley looked up at Rio. This understanding had already been reached between them.
Jack Dawson noticed and was even more concerned.
‘Doesn’t stop you having fun though,’ Rio confirmed, sitting down beside the policeman.
‘Live for the moment and let it go. No history, no legacy, no responsibility . . . no bullshit,’ Flatley said without expression.
‘Few men you can say that about, Jack. Don’t you agree?’ Rio probed.
Jack moved uncomfortably on the couch as he suffocated in the simplicity of the accusation the atmosphere in the room rapidly evaporated to become oppresive. ‘I think that’s a fucken cop-out. I think –’
‘I agree as it happens,’ Gilbert interrupted from the far end of the room.
Jack jaw angled sharply. ‘Whaddya mean? Agree with what Professor?’ Jack Dawson spat back at the academic before he instantly regretted his over-reaction.
Gilbert leant back in his chair, removed his glasses, lifted his cup of tea to his lips, half-turned to look at Jack and smiled over the rim of the cup before he carefully placed it back in its saucer. ‘Just that! Moments do not demand responsibility just response.’
‘But surely history, and its legacy of moments engenders a sense of responsibility in experts like yourself?’ Jack demanded. He got up, and walked to the table closely followed by Rio and Flatley.
‘History, Mr. Dawson as I perceive it, is simply embedded memory, and someone’s idealization.’ Gilbert expanded. ‘As such it is an imperfect legacy, and a poor basis on which to hang responsibility of any kind. Take this book for instance. Look at the penmanship. No don’t just look at it. Listen to its song. Think of the reed pen in the hand of the calligrapher and the strokes that he made. Then think of wind rustling through reeds and how both pens and flutes or Neys are made from those reeds try to capture the beauty and music of that wind. This . . . this book captures a moment in time just after the writer truly believed that he had been given the message, been shown the truth in all the confusion of history. It was written when the flute and the pen, the song and sign, were in complete harmony. The writer is excited and is desperate to have that clarity recorded, a clarity, which has only been in existence, in his own mind, for the shortest time. An idealization.' Gilbert paused for a second. 'For all of us a thought comes to mind and an instant later it is both history and legacy. That beautiful moment of transcendent clarity, in which the clarity is the moment, is soon betrayed and its history and legacy become weapons of both certainty and of confusion: chaos.’ Gilbert stopped talking and sipped his tea again. He gently closed the book and rested his hand on the cover as if was giving a solemn oath.
‘Does the text give an explanation for the strange symbols at the beginning of some of the sura, Professor?’ Rio asked, a little breathlessly. Gerrit Flatley was deliberately pressing up close against her bottom as they crowded in around the chair of the academic. She sensed his crotch bulging against her and pushed back against him every so slightly.
‘Don’t know Rio, I’m afraid,’ Gilbert said slowly as he shrugged his shoulders apologetically. ‘But the book is so very special. That I am certain of! The binding is, I think, seventeenth century Ottoman and the colophon most certainly is, but as for the script, there I am stumped.’
‘What does the colophon say?’ Jack asked as he glared at Flatley.
We send forth the messengers as bearers of glad tidings and as Warners. It’s from the Qur’an, from Al-An‘am, the sixth sura. It is signed by your friend Karabatakzade, 1080 AH or 1669 CE,’ Gilbert explained.
‘The year he died,’ Rio added.
‘And what is the difficulty with the script?’ Flatley asked moving to Rio’s side, red-faced.
‘I’m not sure Inspector but am fairly confident that it is very ancient and much older than standard Kufic or even the more rare Hijazi. Much closer in fact to Nabatean, I suspect: only consonants and no hareke or diacritics to indicate vowels or sounding. Leaving aside its scriptural significance for a moment I am near certain that as a possible example of the transition phase from Nabatean to Arabic script it has no extant equal. But why in a book that is otherwise 17th century. As I said, I'm baffled. I would suggest, perhaps, that the book should be sent to the world’s best Arabic palaeographers at Saarland University, in Saarbrüken.’
‘I’m not keen on letting it out of my sight,’ Jack said.
‘I can understand that Mr. Dawson. In any event some of the pages are a little fragile and it would be better to have it photographed, rather than scanned directly. You could send a copy of these to Germany,’ Gilbert said, nodding his head. 'I’d also like a copy if you would be so kind.’
‘I’ll organise that with Mac,’ Rio offered. She felt Gerrit instantly pulling away from her and noticed Jack’s grimmace. ‘Whoa! Easy lads. Less of the possessive posturing, please! Mac and I have worked things out. I said some things I should not have and he is sorry for what happened at the restaurant.’
You’re not to –’ Jack Dawson began.
‘For the final time, Jack, I make my own decisions,’ Rio cut him off emphatically.
‘Its my book now and I’ll make the decisions.’ Jack spat out. He felt hurt and didn’t care if he showed it.
‘With respect, Mr. Dawson,’ Bertrand Gilbert interjected as he stood up, and started putting his equipment back into his briefcase, ‘It is not your Book, never can be. You might have possession of it but it is not yours. You might contribute to its history and legacy but you will never own its moment. Like with people, perhaps . . .’ His eyes flicked towards Rio and then back again to the briefcase. ‘I think, if it is all right with you, Rio I’d like to pay a quick visit to the museum. There is a Ruzbihan al-Shirazi Kur’ãn I want to look at before heading for the plane.’
‘Sure. I’ll call the duty librarian to have it ready for you,’ Rio offered as she picked up the phone.
‘My thanks.’ Gilbert turned to Jack. ‘I’m sorry that I cannot be of more help. Your friend Dr. Flanagan was right, Mr. Dawson. This –’
‘He’s no friend of mine!’ Jack was still smarting.
‘Whatever. This book is a Holy Grail and sometimes the silence that erupts in the finding of such a wonder is because you realise there cannot be any other sounds. It is both an end and a beginning, a singularity.’
‘A big bang!’ Gerrit Flatley blurted out as he winked in Rio's direction.
‘Exactly, Inspector. Exactly!’ the paratrooper agreed.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Rihla (Journey 25): Allihies, Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland: Existential Hags and Hairy Caterpillars




The Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.
(Looking west near Drombohilly.)


Rihla (The Journey) – was the short title of a 14th Century (1355 CE) book written in Fez by the Islamic legal scholar Ibn Jazayy al-Kalbi of Granada who recorded and then transcribed the dictated travelogue of the Tangerian, Ibn Battuta. The book’s full title was A Gift to Those who Contemplate the Wonders of Cities and the Marvels of Travelling and somehow the title of Ibn Jazayy's book captures the ethos of many of the city and country journeys I have been lucky to take in past years.

This rihla is about Allihies, Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.


Existentialist Flight in an Allihies Meadow,
Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland


All journeys are metaphors for existence, and I hope any accidental tourist reading this, will forgive me, if this journey meanders more than most, particularly as I want to start with Kierkegaard. As the first and most accessible of the existentialist philosophers Kierkegaard has always been my favourite, primarily because of his humour, but also his “subjectivity is truth, subjectivity is reality” absurdist analysis of the human condition. He explained in his book Concluding Unscientific (uvidenskabelig) Postscript that if a subjective thinker applied ‘qualitative disjunction’ in ‘empty isolation’, or in ‘an altogether abstract fashion’ then one was at risk of saying something infinitely decisive, being quite correct in what one said, but ‘ludicrously’ saying nothing at all.

Now I am a lazy ‘subjective thinker’ and often anything I write is more the consequence of an inquisitive distraction rather than the discipline of applied disjunction. However that said, and at the risk of saying nothing at all, I thought I would recount a recent journey where the absurd and the abstract conjoined.


Allihies, Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.

In recent years, during the first week of August, I have headed for Allihies, on the Beara Peninsula, in West Cork. Last week, leaving behind the violent headlines of a Norwegian Aryan slaughtering innocents, and the notion that the civilised remit of Norwegian society (unless you are a whale of course) is fully funded by its North Sea oil revenues for the next 150 years; and elsewhere in the world the physical slaughter and economic devastation of the Great Wars being replaced by the economic devastation caused by a reliance on an imaginary sense of worth, of gold, of money, of redeemable bonds, and electronic gambles on their absurdist reality; and the price of a litre of petrol varying from county to county and from one side of a town to the other, I made that disjunctive leap accompanied for reading by Simon Sebag Montefiore’s brilliant Jerusalem – The Biography, an eloquent testimony to all that is absurd.


Looking North-East toward Eyeries,
Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.

On a sun splashed afternoon having climbed the road from the multi-hued village of Allihies that twists up through the 19th century copper mine workings that are themselves descendent of Bronze Age workings in the same area, through fuschia and heather bog I descended again to the flatlands below the Slieve Miskish mountain ridge that bisects the landscape. Behind me was Knocknagallaun, the Hill of the Standing Stones, the megalithic standing stones of the northern shore below that acted like waymarkers to the less-hued village of Eyeries.

Waterfall near Eyeries,
Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.


A little beyond Eyeries, near St Catherine’s Point is a small ruined church named dedicated to St Caitiarin ( a male saint) and within its precincts are tombstones of copper miners from Allihies who had emigrated when the seams exhausted to Butte, Montana.


St Catherine's Cemetery, Beara Penninsula, West Cork, Ireland.
(Knocknagallaun is peak in centre of photograph)

Near the church is a small outcrop of rock with a whitewashed crown and covered with votive offerings such as money, a rope, a letter, a comb, a crucifix, a fishing hook and a child’s bracelet. The rock is known as the An Chailleach Bhéarra, or the Hag of Beara. The Hag or Old Crone is one of Ireland’s most ancient deities, preceding the Nemed, Fintan the Wise, the Fir Bolg and the Tuatha De Danann in mythology. It was she who ate the apples of immortality in the beginning, could regenerate into a beautiful woman with the love of a hero, and became the Goddess of the Winter. She was also, in Beara folklore, married to Manannán Mac Lir, God of the Sea, guardian of Emhain Abhlach, the Isle of Apple Trees. And she waits there, frozen in space and time by an early Christian antagonism.


The Hag of Beara with Votive Offerings

I sat there and thought pagan thoughts. I also thought (excuse me as this is where my arbitrary distraction intrudes) of the death of Otto von Habsburg-Lothringen the last of the Imperial Hapsburgs in July of this year. Among Otto’s many titles was that of Lord of Trieste, Kotor and Windic March and Duke of Dubrovnik (obtained via Dubrovnik’s allegiance to the Hungarian Crown). While once in Trieste I followed James Joyce’s trail of unpaid rents (via San Nicolò 30, 2nd floor
1° May 1905 - 24 February 1906; via San Nicolò 16, c/o Stanislaus Joyce (his brother), 3rd floor
March - November 1907; piazza Ponterosso 3, 3rd floor March 1905; via Santa Caterina 1, 1 st floor
1° December 1907 - early March 1909; via Armando Diaz 2, 3rd floor
mid-October 1919 - early July 1920; via Donato Bramante 4,2nd floor 
September 1912 - 28 June 1915; via Alfredo Oriani 2, 3rd floor
late August 1910 - early September 1912 ; via Vincenzo Scussa 8, 1 st floor
6, March 1909 - 24August 1910 ; via Giovanni Boccaccio 1, 2nd floor
 24 February - 30 July 1906) – for the majority of the time that Joyce lived there Trieste, until 1918, was still part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire) and then went to Miramar, the Hapsburg Imperial Residence from where Otto’s relative Maximilian sailed off to become and be executed as Emperor of Mexico, in June 1867. And touching the rock I thought of the Hag, and the notion of ancient curses and the island of Lokum near Dubrovnik where Maximilian and his wife Charlotte had built a pleasure palace; where when I was last there still had the Imperial arms of Mexico on the shelled-out boathouse, and which had a Benedictine curse on whoever claimed the island for his personal use.

And how this reality was all so absurd.


Emperor Moth Caterpillar on Knoncknagallaun

On returning to Knocknagullaun, on a patch of heather I photographed a dew-laden hairy orange-striped caterpillar. I think it was the larvae of the silken Emperor Moth and I thought of Maximillian again, and again of the Hag and of historical certainty re-inventing itself.

I suppose the least likely words, given an opportunity to express them with clarity, that the great existentialist philosophers would have uttered on their deathbeds, would have been, ‘I have great thoughts. I will come back to them again at another time.’


Sceptics above Allihies,
Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland.

A never-ending journey this saying nothing at all!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Flight of Fancy




FLIGHT OF FANCY – A Ten Minute Play



Setting:

Two men sitting, facing the audience, on high stools in a modern hotel bar. Large mirror to one side. Play opens with Brian waving goodbye to somebody off stage. Rostov looking straight ahead.

Brian:
You go ahead Jack. I want to stay here for a while. I'll make my own way home. See you in the morning!

(Turns back to bar and observing that his glass is empty calls for another. Mutters to himself half-looking at Rostov who is smiling)

I’ve nothing to rush home for anyway.

Rostov:
That’s unfortunate. Why?

Brian:
It’s a long story.

Rostov:
Right.

(There is a silence as he waits for Brian to expand and when he doesn’t)

You should take a taxi my friend!

Brian:

What on earth for? Where would I be going? I live nearby.

Rostov:
To the Airport Hotel.

Brian:

Why would I be going to the airport at this hour?

Rostov:

A flight of fancy. To take your mind off things.

(Rostov pulls a card from his pocket and passes it to Brian)

My card.


Brian:
I don’t understand. (looks at card) Oh! I do now!

Rostov:

Ever tried it?

Brian:

No. Is it expensive?

Rostov:

Depends on whether you choose a domestic or international flight.

Brian:

Why?

Rostov:

Exotic destinations. Difference in landing charges. All of that.

Brian:

How much difference?

Rostov:

Sixty quid on average! One hundred if it is Brazil. Are you interested?

(Brian looks at Rostov and then his card for a little while and then around the bar.)

Brian:

Yeah . . . mabey.

Rostov:

Good. That’s settled. Wait here for a few minutes and then come outside. White Merc at the end of the rank. Ok?

Brian:

Right.

(Rostov gets up talking into mobile phone and leaves. Brian takes out his wallet and counts money. A photograph slips out and he studies it and then his reflection in the mirror with an intense gaze. 5 minute or so passes and Rostov comes back in.)

Rostov:

Are you coming or what? (Angrily)

Brian:

No. I think I’ll walk.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Windsong – Breath of Being (Chapter 24 – Alcibiades)






CHAPTER DATE

Being The Beginning Sunday, January 23, 2011

Mistral

1 The Exchange Sunday, January 30, 2011
2 bildende Kraft Saturday, February 5, 2011
3 Gossamer Wings Friday, February 11, 2011
4 Nemesis Saturday, February 19, 2011
5 Odd Shoes Friday, February 25, 2011
6 al-Rûh Friday, March 4, 2011
7 A Love Supreme Thursday, March 10, 2011
8 The Three-Cornered Light Thursday, March 24, 2011
9 Serendipity Tuesday, April 5, 2011
10 The Watchman Friday, April 15, 2011
11 The Upright Way Sunday, April 25, 2011
12 Angels Wednesday, May 4, 2011
13 The Cave of Montesinos Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Meltimi

14 Idols Tuesday, May 10, 2011
15 Nightingale Sunday, May 15, 2011
16 The Perfect Square Sunday, May 22, 2011
17 Haunting Thursday, May 26, 2011
18 The Uncontainable Wednesday, June 1, 2011
19 The Ear of Malchus Monday, June 6, 2011
20 Mauvais Pas Wednesday, June 15, 2011
21 Sinan Qua Non Saturday, June 25, 2011
22 Spirit-Level Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sirocco

23 Witness Saturday, July 16, 2011
24 Alcibiades Friday, July 22, 2011
25 Ney
26 Birdsong
27 The Vanishing Point
28 The Cat Walks
29 The Approximate Likeness of Being

Becalming Unscientific Postscript


Chapter 24

Alcibiades

“The observer should be an eroticist, no feature,
no moment should be indifferent to him . . .”

Søren Kierkegaard
The Concept of Irony

The cold wind that whipped up the dead-dark waters of the canal beside the brooding figure funnelled the spray into icy needles that pierced into his skin and froze one side of his face. They forced him into pulling the parka hood tighter around his head as he gingerly stepped over the detritus of earlier junkies to slide deeper beneath the shelter of the bridge where, in the shadow cast by the streetlights, only his exhaled frosted breath gave any sign of him actually being there. Bloody typical, he thought. Defined by what we give back not what we take in. He dug deep into his pocket and pulled out a bottle. Having unscrewed its cap with fumbling, numbed fingers he lifted the bottle to his lips and drained its last measure. He looked at the bottle in distaste, before tossing it into the water.
From where the man stood he was still able to see the door of the ground-floor apartment in the expensive new development on the opposite bank. Above him, at street level, the estate agent’s sign was rocking wildly in the wind, and proclaimed the availability of Phase 3 and the development’s name, in big, bold letters: THE LACEWORKS. He knew that the name derived from the old canal-side building on the site and watched with some amusement as the letters were dissected by the wind into an open mesh of cardboard mush. He smiled at this, knowing that inside Apartment 2, she was likely to be wearing lace. She liked to make love in its mesh, leaving its invitation on, pulling them, him into the cobweb of her entrapment. At that point he felt his testicles lift with the thought and hoped all the drink he had taken would not interfere with his laceworks. Should have popped a Viagra, he thought, as he felt his crotch.
Reassured he held his hand out into the beam cast by the nearest streetlight and looked at the face of his watch. It was 11.10 pm. Just then, from the corner of his eye, he saw the light over her doorway flicker into life. The door opened and the huddled figure of a man exited, stooping low before he furtively walked away at speed. The door closed and the light went out. He decided to remain hidden in the darkness of the archway for a few minutes, hoping to see her shadow, hoping perhaps that she would come to a window and would look out, look out for him. Time passed as only the time of waiting passes: slowly; defying physics with its laws of expectation. She did not appear as a window-shadow and, disappointed, he stepped out from beneath the archway, climbed the wet steps with some difficulty, crossed the bridge, approached her glossy, blue door and pressed the bell; once, twice before keeping his finger on it.
The light overhead eventually flickered on and the door opened slowly, partially. ‘Quit with the bloody noise,’ her voice said through the gap.
He pushed against the door but it only opened inwards a small amount. The latch chain was still in place, he realised. An eye appeared and then disappeared again. ‘Less me in, Angie,’ he slurred.
‘You’re early, Mac. I said 11.45,’ a young woman’s said dismissively. Smoke from a cigarette escaped through the gap.
Jasus, girl. Only by ten minutes or so. Let me in, will ya. It’s an awful night out here.’
‘I don’t want any of my clients bumping into one another. You know that! Those are my rules.’
‘Fuck the rules, Angie! I saw your last trick leaving. Poxy looking character! Whatever do you do for him?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know? How long were you watching?’
‘Twenty minutes or so. Whass diff . . . difference does that make?’
‘You sound pissed, Mac. I think it would be better if you went away.’
‘Do you mind if we discuss this inside? It’s fuckin’ freezing out here!’
There was a long pause and then, ‘Take your foot out of the way.’
‘Sure,’ he said and did. The door closed again and he could hear the latch being removed. He pushed against it and it opened.
The girl retreated in front of him but hesitated half-way down the narrow hallway to stub out her cigarette in an ashtray on a small table. ‘Go on through, Mac, you know the way,’ she said indicating a doorway to his right. ‘Pour yourself a drink, if you must – though by the smell of you, you have probably had enough already. I’ll be with you in a minute. I want to grab a quick shower.’

As he closed the front door behind him she turned and walked towards a bedroom at the very far end of the corridor. He had never seen inside that room, as it was not the space she used for clients. He watched her disappear. Tall with natural blonde hair falling onto her shoulders she was wearing a silk, embroidered night-jacket that just reached the curve of her firm buttocks. A chain dangled below the hem of the jacket, disappearing into the cleft of her buttocks and a needle-worked dragon near her shoulders appeared to be laughing back at him. She had Mickey Mouse slippers on her feet. He wanted to follow her but instead turned right into the small living room and poured himself a vodka – neat – before he sat down on the soft leather-covered couch. Like a glove, he thought, moving his hand over the surface.
Frozen faces and fixed smiles stared at him from across the room. He stood up to look at the pictures in their silver frames on the mantelpiece: a first holy communion photograph with her parents and younger sister, all golden hair extensions of her; a school holiday photograph with friends, their faces gilded with the freedom of it; her eighteenth birthday party and long-legged exuberance; the night she received her degree in Philosophy and Economics and . . . ‘It is all so fuckin’ normal,’ he said aloud before downing the vodka in one. The white spirit seared his throat. ‘What the fuck are you doing here Mac,’ he asked himself, staring at the pictures.
‘What the fuck are you doing here, Mac?’ a voice asked, from behind him.
He jumped. He hadn’t heard her come in and wondered how long she had been standing there. He turned to face her. The silk gown was still in place but loosely wrapped to reveal a bodice of black lace. The slippers were gone and replaced by high-heeled red boots that lifted her higher, pushing her chest forward and bottom back. ‘You star . . . startled me,’ he said, slurring the words.
She smiled, a thin smile. ‘What do you want, Mac? I’m already in enough trouble for coming forward to say that you were with me the night of the robbery.’
‘I really appreciated that,’ he said. He instantly sobered, knowing what was coming next.
‘You didn’t give me much choice, threatening me with telling my mother, about what I do,’ she said coldly.
‘I’m sorry about that, Angie. I was in deep shit and didn’t know what else to do. I really am very sorry.’ He moved to touch her but she pulled away.
‘You’re always sorry, Mac. For yourself and . . . Forget I said that.’
‘No you’re right. You are always right Angie.’ Cormac McMurragh slumped down into the couch again. Tears coursed down his cheeks.
‘Would you like a coffee?’ she asked kindly.
‘No. Thanks.’
‘How about doing a line?’ she invited in a matter-of-fact way, as if one was as convenient as the other.
‘No.’
‘Well I do. Excuse me a minute?’
‘Sure,’ he said watching her leave.

He continued to stare back at the pictures until she returned. Her face was flushed and her eyes glistened. ‘Anyway it wasn’t all that bad,’ she giggled. ‘That cute detective, Flatley was very nice about it. I told him that you were my sugar daddy and that I only did it now and then to help with college expenses. More of a gift than a service, I told him, from desperation. He said that he understood and that if I cooperated he would not pursue it any further. Is he a man of his word?’
‘I . . . I think so,’ he reassured.
‘Good,’ she said teasing him with her eyes. ‘Because I might just, accidentally bump into him again, some day. He has a cute bum.’
‘I didn’t notice,’ he growled.
She sighed deeply as she combed her hands through her hair to lift it before letting it fall again. Her chest rose higher and the loosely tied belt undid spontaneously as she pirouetted in front of him. She stopped suddenly and rested her hands on his knees. ‘You’ve always said that you can only afford me once every two months or so. What are you doing here again so soon?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said, leaning forward to pull her gown open and stare at her breasts, crosshatched beneath the lace bodice. He touched a pink nipple, which became instantly erect, before moving his hand down towards her crotch, where he knew the lace ended. ‘I thought we might –’
She pulled away from him and took the glass from his hand. ‘No freebies, Mac! You know that.’
‘Yes.’ He pulled out an envelope with crisp notes in it and placed it on the seat beside him. ‘I thought we might just talk and then perhaps . . .’
She waited for him to finish what he had begun to say and when he didn’t, she picked up the envelope and counted the notes. She smiled. ‘Up to you, Mac! It’s your money and you can spend it any way you like. There’s about an hours’ worth of my time here.’ She held up the envelope, waved it in his face before she put it in the pocket of her gown. She then moved back towards him and taking his hand guided it back to her crotch. She held it there and moved against his fingers. ‘Oh God, that’s nice. What did you want to talk about?’
‘I . . . I . . .’ he began.
Her rhythm against his fingers got faster and faster, her breath came in short fast bursts that blew warm on his face. She curled his fingers into a fist and pressed against him even harder. She was laughing…Mac suddenly pulled his hand away and interrupted in her reverie she glared at him. Wanting to continue she instantly brought her own hand back to her crotch. Her glare changed to a first a look of frustration, then annoyance. ‘I’d actually like a fuck, Mac . . . then we can talk,’ she said harshly.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked, threatened by the demand and the brutality.
‘I’ve had a really weird sort of day, all fetishes and S&M stuff. Distance fucking, I call it, most of it being in the head. It pays well but leaves me randy but frustrated, all that giving. What I’d like right now, Mac . . . What I’d really like right now is a simple straightforward ride, your kind of riding. Fast and furious! Besides which you have a dick the size of a donkey and I need that inside me right now.’
‘Don’t say that. Say it like . . .’
‘Say what, Mac? Like I enjoy it?’ She started to laugh. ‘Come on, man. Get real. Of course I like it. I love fucking, any which way, size or sequence, and getting paid into the bargain makes it even better. This is not some Freudian fantasy, Mac and I’m not your mother. I’m not some ideal, a random dream that you somehow hope we will both wake up from and think it never happened. This is what I am, Mac. This is my being and I love it, love myself for it. Either ride the wind or get blown away!’
‘Shit,’ was all he could say before he got up from the chair. He made for the drinks cabinet on the far side of the room but suddenly and desperately unsteady had to lean heavily against the mantelpiece. His hand stretched out to anchor himself and pushed against one of the smiling frozen faces. The picture of Angie in her communion dress and hair-extensions clattered to the ground. The girl instantly rushed over to pick it up, and then replaced it, carefully lining the frame up with the others.
A chain-gang of smiles, he thought.
She turned to him, her voice softening. ‘Please, Mac. Fuck me first and I’ll then give you two hours of my time. All the time in the world to talk.’ She let the robe fall from her shoulders and stepping forward quickly pulled at his trousers zip until it gave. She pushed her hand deep inside his trousers and whispered, ‘There you are my donkey, come to mama. Mama wants to ride you so hard that you’ll bleed.’
Mac watched as her eyes suddenly glazed over, the line of cocaine kicking in even more. He was having great difficulty focusing. She was looking up at him and whispering the words but it was like she was staring at a nothingness: his nothingness. Like Rio, he reminded himself. He had come to Angie’s looking for some sort of harmony, some sort of understanding, some sort of anything tangible and now, as he watched her suck his cock, all he felt was indifference. It was as if she was, as Rio was, no longer there to sense. ‘Fuck you,’ he suddenly said, pulling away from her. He pulled up his zip and headed for the hallway.
There was a brief moment as she stared blankly at the spot where her hand still is and where he had been. Her pupils oscillated from side to side at first but then steadied as she turned to call after him. ‘Bu . . . but, Mac,’ she slurred. ‘What about the money?’
‘Keep the money, Angie. You’ve earned it,’ he said quietly without looking back.

The door opened and the light above flickered on.